Looking for the perfect way to rub salt in the wounds of your rival sports team after a victory? When your team triumphs, the right soundtrack can amplify the celebration and add a playful jab at the losing side. Forget generic victory anthems; it’s time to embrace the art of the “troll song.” This curated playlist is designed to provide you with the ultimate collection of Troll Songs, guaranteed to elicit groans and maybe a grudging chuckle from your defeated opponents.
Whether you’re at home, at a tailgate, or even daringly close to enemy territory, these songs will help you savor the sweet taste of victory just a little bit more. We’ve categorized these musical taunts by team type for maximum effectiveness. Get ready to crank up the volume and let the trolling begin!
Songs to Pounce On Cat-Based Teams
For teams with feline mascots, these tracks are purr-fectly designed to playfully mock their defeat:
- “What’s New Pussycat?” – Tom Jones: A classic with a mischievous twist when directed at a cat-themed team. The repetitive chorus is brilliantly annoying in this context.
- “There Are No Cats in America” – An American Tail (Soundtrack): A slightly obscure but wonderfully ironic choice. Imagine playing this after a team like the Carolina Panthers or Cincinnati Bengals suffers a loss.
Bird-Brained Ballads for Bird-Based Teams
Is your rival team represented by a bird? These songs will make them feel like they’ve flown south for the winter – permanently:
- “I’m Like A Bird” – Nelly Furtado: Subtly suggests their team is free-falling and unable to be contained, much like their losing streak.
- “Killing Birds” – Chris Cornell: A darker, more edgy choice. This one’s for when you really want to emphasize the crushing nature of the defeat.
- “When Doves Cry” – Prince: A power ballad of heartbreak. Perfect for when the opposing team’s fans are shedding tears of defeat (or at least you imagine they are).
- “Cardinal Sin” – Black Sabbath (for Arizona Cardinals): Play on their name with this heavy metal track. Suggests their loss was almost inevitable, a ‘sin’ from the start.
- “Same Old Song and Dance” – Aerosmith (for Atlanta Falcons): For when the Falcons’ losses become a predictable pattern. It’s the “same old song and dance” of defeat.
- “Big Girls Don’t Cry” – Fergie (for Atlanta Falcons & Tampa Bay Buccaneers): A little bit of emotional mockery. Are those Falcons or Buccaneers fans about to cry?
- “Baltimore” – Randy Newman (for Baltimore Ravens): A slightly melancholic song about Baltimore. Understated but effective, implying a general sadness around their team’s performance.
- “Gonna Fly Now” (Theme from Rocky) – Bill Conti (for Philadelphia Eagles): Irony at its finest. They thought they were going to fly, but they just got knocked out.
- “Homeless Sky” – Michael R J Roth (for Seattle Seahawks): Suggests their team is lost and without direction after the loss.
Galloping Giggles for Horse-Based Teams
Neigh-sayers beware! These horse-themed troll songs will have you galloping with glee at your rivals’ expense:
- “Mr. Ed” Theme: Pure, unadulterated silliness. The iconic theme song from the talking horse sitcom adds a layer of absurdity to their defeat.
- “Indianapolis” – The Bottle Rockets (for Indianapolis Colts): Direct and geographically relevant. A simple, slightly mocking ode to their city after a loss.
A Menagerie of Mockery for Other Animal Teams
Beyond cats, birds, and horses, there’s a whole zoo of teams ripe for trolling:
- “Guy On A Buffalo” & “Buffalo Stance” – (for Buffalo Bills): Double the Buffalo-themed trouble. “Guy On A Buffalo” is inherently goofy, and “Buffalo Stance” provides a contrasting, slightly more assertive taunt.
- “The Night Chicago Died” – Paper Lace (for Chicago Bears): Dramatic and over-the-top. Implies a catastrophic failure in Chicago (at least on the football field).
- “Ram It” & “Why You’d Want to Live Here” – Death Cab for Cutie (for Los Angeles Rams): “Ram It” is… well, suggestive and silly. “Why You’d Want to Live Here” by Death Cab for Cutie offers a more indie-rock, slightly sarcastic take, questioning the appeal of being a Rams fan after a loss.
- “Flipper” Theme & “FloriDada” – Animal Collective (for Miami Dolphins & Jacksonville Jaguars): The “Flipper” theme is pure nostalgic cheese, highlighting the Dolphins’ sometimes perceived lack of bite. “FloriDada” is bizarre and Floridian, fitting for both Florida-based teams, suggesting a chaotic and perhaps slightly absurd loss.
Miami Dolphins logo
Troll Tracks for Teams Based on Large Things
Giants, Titans, and more – no large-themed team is safe from these musical jabs:
- “Killer of Giants” – Ozzy Osbourne (for New York Giants): A heavy metal boast. Your team isn’t afraid of giants; they are giant killers!
- “Miami 2017” – Billy Joel (for New York Giants & New York Jets): A slightly strange but potentially effective choice. It’s about Miami, not New York, adding to the off-kilter nature of the troll.
- “Teen Titans Theme” – Puffy AmiYumi (for Tennessee Titans): Playful and childish. Are the Titans acting like whiny teenagers after their loss?
Generic Loss Anthems: For When You Just Want to Gloat
Sometimes, you don’t need team-specific songs. These are the all-purpose gloating tracks for any defeated foe:
- “Just a Closer Walk With Thee”: A traditional funeral dirge. Play it softly and somberly for maximum comedic effect.
- “Loser” – Beck: Direct and to the point. No explanation needed.
- “TAPS”: Another funeral standard. Even shorter and more impactful than “Just a Closer Walk.”
- “Another One Bites the Dust” – Queen: A classic victory anthem with a slightly aggressive edge, perfect for rubbing it in.
- “You Can’t Win” – Michael Jackson: A slightly defeatist Michael Jackson track. Emphasizes their inability to achieve victory against your superior team.
- “Wynona’s Big Brown Beaver” – Primus (for Cleveland Browns): Absurdist and vaguely insulting. Perfectly weird for Browns fans to endure after a loss.
- “The Wreck of the Edmund Fitzgerald” – Gordon Lightfoot (for Cleveland Browns): A song about a maritime disaster. Is their season sinking like a ship?
- “Mammas Don’t Let Your Babies Grow Up to Be Cowboys” – Waylon Jennings & Willie Nelson (for Dallas Cowboys): Country music wisdom suggesting a different career path might be better for Cowboys fans after a loss.
- “It Ain’t Easy Being Green” – Kermit the Frog/Ray Charles (for Green Bay Packers): Playing on the Packers’ green color, implying they are envious of your team’s victory.
- “Texas in My Rear View Mirror” – Mac Davis (for Houston Texans): Texas is in the past for the defeated Texans. They’re driving away from victory.
- “Leaving Las Vegas” – Sheryl Crow (for Las Vegas Raiders): Time to leave Vegas, Raiders. The party’s over.
- “Don’t Know What You Got (Till It’s Gone)” – Cinderella & “The Power” – Snap! (for Los Angeles Chargers): “Don’t Know What You Got…” suggests they’ve lost something valuable (the game). “The Power” is just a high-energy, slightly cheesy track to pump up your victory celebration.
- “SPAM” – Monty Python (for Minnesota Vikings): Nonsensical and repetitive, like maybe their game plan.
- “Many Fans” – SoLo D (for New England Patriots): Sarcastic and boastful. Implying their fanbase is dwindling due to recent losses.
- “Miami 2017” – Billy Joel & “American Pie” – Don McLean & “Hit the Plane Down” – Pavement (for New York Jets): A chaotic mix for the Jets. “Miami 2017” again for geographical confusion, “American Pie” for epic length and perhaps suggesting the ‘day the music died’ for the Jets season, and “Hit the Plane Down” – a controversial, edgy choice (use with caution!).
- “A Cold Pittsburgh Morning” – Sammy Walker & “Smalltown” – Lou Reed and John Cale (for Pittsburgh Steelers): “Cold Pittsburgh Morning” evokes a bleak atmosphere after a loss. “Smalltown” is a bit ironic for a team representing a major city, suggesting a lack of big-city success.
- “You Always Said You Hated San Francisco” – Jonah Matranga (for San Francisco 49ers): Directly confronts 49ers fans with a song about hating their city.
- “Big Girls Don’t Cry” – Fergie & “Blow the Man Down” & “A Pirate’s Life For Me” (for Tampa Bay Buccaneers): More “Big Girls Don’t Cry,” plus pirate-themed songs for the Buccaneers. “Blow the Man Down” is aggressive, and “A Pirate’s Life” is just fun and thematically appropriate.
- “A Horse with No Name” – America (for Washington Football Team): Suggests their team is wandering aimlessly after a loss, without a clear identity (like their former team name).
Washington Commanders logo
This playlist is just a starting point. Feel free to add your own personal troll song favorites and customize your victory soundtracks to maximize the playful torment of your defeated rivals! Remember, it’s all in good fun (mostly). Enjoy your win!
