Navigating the landscape of grief can feel isolating and overwhelming. In the initial months following a profound loss, words often fail to capture the depth of sorrow and confusion. During such times, many find solace in unexpected places, and for me, it was music. Creating a grief playlist became a lifeline in the early days after losing my dad. This collection, born from a mix of emotionally resonant songs already in my library and a late-night, tear-fueled search for “songs about death,” became a soundtrack to my bereavement. If you are currently experiencing the throes of grief, I sincerely hope this curated list of songs offers you a measure of comfort and understanding. My heart truly goes out to you.
Visiting Hours – Ed Sheeran
“I will close the door but I will open up my heart, and everyone I love will know exactly who you are”
Grief has a way of illuminating truths we may have only intellectually understood before. Ed Sheeran’s poignant track, Visiting Hours, beautifully encapsulates the universal longing to reconnect with those we’ve lost. Before experiencing loss firsthand, the profound ache behind these lyrics might not have resonated so deeply. My dad’s constant invitation, “Come over anytime, I’ll be here,” now echoes with a bittersweet pain, highlighting the irreversible absence. Sheeran, a master songwriter, perfectly articulates the yearning to transcend the boundaries of life and death, to simply visit our departed loved ones whenever the need arises. This song speaks to the heart of anyone grappling with the permanent physical separation that death brings, offering a comforting notion of enduring spiritual presence.
Joanne – Lady Gaga
“Heaven’s not ready for you; every part of my aching heart needs you more than the angels do”
Joanne is more than just a song; it’s a heartfelt tribute to Lady Gaga’s aunt, Joanne Germanotta, whose life was tragically cut short by complications from lupus. Although Gaga never had the chance to meet her aunt, Joanne’s legacy profoundly influenced her life and artistic journey. Crafting this song became a cathartic process, helping Gaga navigate her father’s deep-seated grief over the loss of his sister. While rooted in Gaga’s personal family history of loss and bereavement, Joanne transcends individual experience, resonating with anyone who has endured the pain of losing someone dear. It wasn’t until my own experience with bereavement that Joanne found its way into my listening rotation, discovered during one of those emotionally charged late-night moments. The opening lines, in particular, struck a powerful chord. The raw sentiment of feeling utterly unprepared to let go of a loved one is a sentiment that grief makes painfully real. This song captures the raw, visceral feeling of wanting to hold onto someone when the universe has other plans.
Marjorie – Taylor Swift
“Should have kept every grocery store receipt, cause every scrap of you would be taken from me”
It’s almost a given that a Taylor Swift song will find its way into any playlist I curate, and in the realm of grief, Marjorie stands as a particularly poignant masterpiece. Featured on her Evermore album, Marjorie is a loving ode to Swift’s grandmother, Marjorie Finlay. The song beautifully encapsulates the enduring wisdom passed down through generations, echoing Marjorie’s advice to Taylor, such as “never be so kind you forget to be clever, never be so clever you forget to be kind,” and “never be so polite you forget your power, never wield such power you forget to be polite.” Beyond the sage advice, the song expresses a profound longing to have known her grandmother more deeply. This sentiment deeply resonated with my own experience of loss. After my dad’s passing, I discovered facets of his life I was previously unaware of, leading to pangs of guilt and regret for not having delved deeper into his life story while he was still here. The lyric about cherishing even the smallest mementos, like grocery receipts, hit home with particular force. In the immediate aftermath of losing Dad, there was an intense desire to hold onto any tangible piece of him. Thankfully, I now cherish several of his belongings – his fleece jackets offer physical warmth and comfort, his Spitfire pin is proudly displayed, a model airplane sits on my bookshelf, and two bonsai trees grace my front door. While the neat stages of grief might not fully capture the messy reality of bereavement, the comfort found in these small tangible reminders is undeniably real. Marjorie perfectly captures this need to hold onto the physical remnants of a loved one as a way to keep their memory alive.
Slipped Away – Avril Lavigne
“I miss you. I miss you so bad. I don’t forget you. Oh, it’s so sad. I hope you can hear me, I remember it clearly. The day you slipped away was the day I found it won’t be the same”
Many songs about loss capture fleeting moments of grief in a few carefully chosen lines, but Avril Lavigne’s Slipped Away feels different. Virtually every lyric in this track from her Let Go album resonates with the all-encompassing nature of grief – with the minor exception of the line about not getting to say goodbye with a kiss. Slipped Away is a heartfelt tribute to Avril’s grandfather and the regret of not being able to say a final farewell due to being on tour at the time of his death. What makes this song particularly powerful is its stark simplicity and directness. There are no elaborate metaphors or grand declarations; it simply articulates the raw, unfiltered pain and longing that are at the heart of grief.
In my own experience, I was incredibly fortunate to have had the chance to say goodbye to my dad. As agonizing as it was to witness, every detail of those final moments is etched into my memory, unlikely to ever fade. The most profoundly relatable aspect of Slipped Away lies in its depiction of the world irrevocably changing in those moments of farewell. Leaving the hospital that day, a stark realization settled in: “Nothing will ever be the same.” Yet, simultaneously, life continued with an unsettling normalcy. Putting on a face mask in the hospital corridors, sanitizing hands, walking to the car, driving home – these mundane actions from the days before loss felt surreal and detached. This song captures that disorienting juxtaposition of profound inner change against the backdrop of an unchanged external world.
Monsters – James Blunt
“No need to forgive, no need to forget, I know your mistakes and you know mine. And while you’re sleeping, I’ll try to make you proud, so Daddy, won’t you just close your eyes. Don’t be afraid, it’s my turn to chase the monsters away”
My first encounter with James Blunt’s Monsters was in late 2019. Working in an office where Radio 2 was the constant soundtrack, I heard him perform his new single live. Shortly after, this song followed, and its emotional impact was so immediate and intense that I had to discreetly excuse myself to avoid crying in front of my boss. Monsters is deeply rooted in James Blunt’s personal experience of his father, Charles, being diagnosed with late-stage kidney disease. The song is a heartbreakingly beautiful tribute, encapsulating his feelings towards his father and his illness.
The raw emotional power of Monsters stemmed from its unflinching confrontation with a parent’s mortality. This theme resonated deeply with my own experience in early 2019 when my dad suffered a heart attack. Fear of losing him became overwhelming. Yet, visiting him in the hospital, witnessing his humor and resilience as he joked with nurses, sparked a flicker of hope amidst the fear. Since losing Dad, Monsters has taken on an even more profound and painful resonance. The song’s “farewell letter” style lyrics are incredibly powerful, especially the lines, “I know your mistakes and you know mine.” There’s a raw, unvarnished truth in the way the song acknowledges human imperfections while emphasizing unconditional love and acceptance in the face of mortality. It underscores the simplicity of what truly matters in those final moments of goodbye – forgiveness, acceptance, and the desire to offer comfort and reassurance.
Sidelines – Phoebe Bridgers
“Watching the world from the sidelines, had nothing to lose, till you came into my life, gave me something to lose”
While Phoebe Bridgers’ Sidelines isn’t explicitly categorized as a song about grief or death of a loved one, it profoundly captures the emotional landscape of early bereavement. Sally Rooney fans will recognize this song from the TV adaptation of Conversations With Friends, which was released during a particularly vulnerable time for me – the weeks leading up to and immediately following my dad’s illness. Seeking comfort, I turned to this show, perhaps masochistically. While not reaching the heights of Normal People, Conversations With Friends, and Sidelines by extension, resonated deeply due to my personal circumstances.
Reflecting on the lyrics of Sidelines in the months since, I find they evoke a sense of detachment and observation that often accompanies grief. The feeling of being a passive observer, “watching the world from the sidelines,” while grappling with profound inner turmoil, is a common experience in bereavement. The lyrics also hint at the sharp realization of vulnerability that loss brings – “gave me something to lose.” Before experiencing deep loss, there can be a sense of invincibility or emotional detachment. Grief shatters this illusion, highlighting the preciousness and fragility of human connection and the world around us. Sidelines captures this shift in perspective, the feeling of being both present in the world and yet emotionally removed, grappling with the weight of what has been lost.
Home to You – Sigrid
“When I don’t know what to say, when I don’t know what to do, would it be okay if I came home to you?”
Sigrid’s Home to You is a powerful example of a song finding its meaning amplified by personal experience and timing. There’s a poignant backstory to its inclusion in my grief playlist. In late 2021, my mum and I lost someone incredibly dear to pancreatic cancer. T was more than just a friend; he was an integral part of my childhood. The day he passed away, I (perhaps unwisely) decided to watch Stand Up to Cancer, where Sigrid performed this song. It was my first time hearing Home to You, and it instantly conjured a flood of cherished memories of T and the joyous times of my childhood he represented. I didn’t encounter the song again until the day of his funeral, my first funeral at 29. As I drove home, it came on shuffle, feeling like a sign, a gentle permission to grieve and release the pent-up emotions.
Since Dad’s death, Home to You has acquired an even deeper, multifaceted meaning. It not only serves as a reminder of T and the happy childhood memories we shared, but it also now evokes the essence of my dad. It echoes his constant reassurance, “Come over anytime, I’ll be here,” and “I’m always pleased to see you, my love.” The song encapsulates the feeling of unconditional welcome and safety, the sense that regardless of external chaos, returning home meant finding refuge and unwavering presence. I still vividly remember the sight of his empty armchair in the days following his passing, a silent testament to his absence, and the lyrics of Home to You amplify that poignant ache of loss and the longing for the familiar comfort of home and loved ones.
Ronan (Taylor’s Version) – Taylor Swift
“Flowers pile up in the worst way, no one knows what to say”
When discussing songs about the death of a loved one, Taylor Swift’s Ronan stands as an undeniably heart-wrenching masterpiece. The song tells the tragic story of three-year-old Ronan Thompson, who passed away in 2011 from neuroblastoma. Ronan is a tribute written by Taylor, drawing directly from the heartbreakingly honest blog posts of Ronan’s mother, Maya, chronicling his courageous battle. While Ronan is undeniably beautiful and a standout track on Red (Taylor’s Version), certain lines resonate with particular intensity in the context of personal grief. The lyric “flowers pile up in the worst way, no one knows what to say” perfectly captures the often-awkward attempts at condolence that follow a loss. Similarly, “what if I’m standing in your closet trying to talk to you” speaks to the yearning for continued connection with the departed, even in their physical absence. Even now, months later, the sentiment “no one knows what to say” still rings true (and I mean that with understanding and without judgment). And in my own quiet way, tending to his bonsai trees, I find myself talking to him, half-expecting a response from the silent trees. These small, perhaps unconventional actions, are born from a deep longing to maintain connection, and I suspect I’m far from alone in these quiet rituals of remembrance.
Bigger Than the Whole Sky – Taylor Swift
“Did some force take you because I didn’t pray? Every single thing to come has turned into ashes, cause it’s all over, it’s not meant to be, so I’ll say words I don’t believe”
Bigger Than the Whole Sky is a recent and intensely impactful addition to my grief playlist. Emerging from Taylor Swift’s Midnights (3am Edition) album, it delivers an unexpected emotional blow. Swift’s exceptional songwriting often delves into experiences beyond her own, leading to fan interpretations of Bigger Than the Whole Sky as a song about pregnancy loss. However, for many, myself included, it evokes the broader, universal experience of loss and the poignant realization that the time we have with loved ones is never truly enough. My first listen immediately brought Dad to mind, and the sharp pang of wishing for more time spent together. Once again, Taylor Swift’s ability to tap into the raw nerve of human emotion is undeniable, leaving me in tears once more. This song captures the agonizing questions and regrets that surface in the wake of loss, the desperate yearning for more time, and the struggle to reconcile with an irreversible absence.
Blackbird – The Beatles
“Take these broken wings and learn to fly”
Finally, we arrive at Blackbird by The Beatles. It’s a somewhat embarrassing admission that I was unaware of the depth of my dad’s appreciation for The Beatles until after he passed away. In discussions with my siblings, we decided that Blackbird and In My Life were fitting musical tributes for his funeral service. Unsurprisingly, both songs were deeply affecting and tear-inducing, but Blackbird resonated with particular force. In truth, any Beatles song now carries a poignant association with him, but the opening chords of Blackbird are particularly triggering, instantly bringing tears. I suspect I will never be able to listen to Blackbird without a wave of emotion, a lasting testament to the enduring power of music and memory.
You can listen to my full Grief Playlist over on Spotify. What songs have offered you solace and understanding in times of grief and loss? Share your recommendations in the comments below.
