The Lumineers Gloria song - Diet Folk for Floppy Hat Wearers
The Lumineers Gloria song - Diet Folk for Floppy Hat Wearers

Beyond Branigan: Ranking the Greatest Songs Named “Gloria”

Like many, my renewed obsession with the name “Gloria” started thanks to an unlikely source: the St. Louis Blues. As a Nashville Predators fan, rooting for a division rival usually feels like a betrayal, but their adoption of Laura Branigan’s iconic 1982 hit “Gloria” as their victory song this season has been utterly charming and undeniably infectious. This pretty cute story of how a bar jukebox choice became a Stanley Cup anthem is genuinely heartwarming, and I confess, “Gloria” has been on repeat for me ever since.

My deep dive into “Gloria” mania has led me down a rabbit hole of fascinating trivia – from the song’s Italian origins as Umberto Tozzi’s 1979 creation to Laura Branigan’s surprising past as a backup singer for Leonard Cohen. Learning that Branigan, who passed away in 2004, would have been thrilled by this resurgence, as her former manager stated, only deepened my appreciation.

But this “Gloria” obsession also sparked a realization: there’s a surprising wealth of fantastic songs carrying the same name. And while Laura Branigan’s power-pop anthem is undeniably a banger, it’s just one facet of the “Gloria” song spectrum. So, let’s embark on a journey through some of the best (and a couple of not-so-best) songs named “Gloria,” ranking them to truly appreciate the breadth of this iconic name in music.

Exploring the Spectrum of “Gloria” Songs: From Emo Anthems to Punk Rock Declarations

This list isn’t about dismissing any artist; it’s about understanding the unique flavor each “Gloria song” brings to the table. We’ll journey through genres, decades, and interpretations, ultimately celebrating the diverse tapestry of music woven under the banner of “Gloria.”

7. “Gloria” – The Lumineers: Folk-Pop Lite

The Lumineers Gloria song - Diet Folk for Floppy Hat WearersThe Lumineers Gloria song – Diet Folk for Floppy Hat Wearers

Kicking off our list is The Lumineers’ “Gloria,” the lead single from their album III. If you’re into what some might call “diet folk” or “Folk Zero”—music tailored for those who frequent artisanal coffee shops and passionately debate the merits of oat milk—then The Lumineers might be your jam. For others seeking a bit more substance and edge, their “Gloria” might feel a tad too polite. It’s inoffensive, radio-friendly, and perfectly pleasant background music, but it lacks the punch and memorability that truly great “Gloria songs” possess. It’s a gentle offering in a world craving sonic boldness.

6. “Gloria” – U2: A Rough Draft of Greatness

U2’s “Gloria,” the opening track from their 1981 album October, feels like a band still finding its footing. While the verses pulse with an energetic rhythm, building anticipation, the chorus, punctuated by Bono’s Latin phrases, unfortunately, deflates the momentum. It’s as if the band momentarily loses its conviction, resulting in a somewhat disjointed feel. The song hints at the stadium-filling anthems U2 would later master, but “Gloria” ’81 feels like a promising blueprint that needed further refinement. It’s not bad, but it’s definitely not top-tier U2, nor a top-tier “Gloria song.” The final 30 seconds offer a glimpse of the song’s potential, but ultimately, it fades out too soon, leaving a sense of unrealized promise.

5. “Gloria” – The Cadillacs: Doo-Wop Nostalgia

The Cadillacs’ “Gloria” brings us back to the classic doo-wop era. Fun fact: it’s this very tune that Billy Joel playfully croons at the end of “The River of Dreams.” While not as widely known as some other “Gloria songs,” The Cadillacs’ version is a charming slice of musical history. It’s a reminder of simpler times, filled with smooth harmonies and a gentle, swaying rhythm. It may not be groundbreaking, but its nostalgic appeal and easy listening vibe earn it a respectable spot on this list. And while “The River of Dreams” might have lost out to Whitney Houston’s “I Will Always Love You” at the 1994 Grammys (rightfully so!), The Cadillacs’ “Gloria” holds its own timeless charm.

4. “Gloria” – Mineral: Emo Perfection

Mineral’s “Gloria,” from their seminal 1997 debut The Power of Failing, is a masterclass in 90s emo intensity. This song is pure emotional catharsis, channeling the raw vulnerability of Sunny Day Real Estate with the powerful guitar work reminiscent of Hum. But “Gloria” by Mineral transcends mere imitation; it’s a potent concoction of feeling that grabs you by the throat and doesn’t let go. From start to finish, every second of this track is meticulously crafted to evoke maximum emotion. If you’re looking for a “Gloria song” that hits you right in the feels, look no further. This is emo at its finest, a swirling vortex of guitars and heartfelt vocals that defines a genre.

3. “Gloria” – Tierra Whack: Rap Versatility and Wit

Tierra Whack, the Philadelphia-based rap innovator, delivers a “Gloria” that’s as unique and captivating as she is. If you appreciate the lyrical prowess of artists like Noname, Tierra Whack will quickly become a favorite. Her “Gloria” is a fascinating study in contrasts, effortlessly blending boastful confidence with down-to-earth humility. She raps about dreaming of Lamborghinis while also acknowledging the realities of being a working artist. This track is just one gem in Whack’s impressive catalog of singles, showcasing her playful approach to rap. Whether she’s sneezing at the start of a track (“CLONES”) or making you contemplate life through a potato in a music video (“Unemployed”), Tierra Whack constantly pushes boundaries and defies expectations. Her “Gloria song” is a testament to her artistry – witty, insightful, and undeniably cool.

2. “Gloria” – Laura Branigan: The Pop Anthem We Know and Love

Laura Branigan’s “Gloria” is arguably the “Gloria song” for many. As Branigan herself reportedly said, it’s about “a girl that’s running too fast for her own steps.” This resonates perfectly with the St. Louis Blues’ improbable journey – from the bottom of the league to Stanley Cup contenders. The song’s frantic energy and empowering message mirror the exhilarating chaos of life, and perhaps, the unpredictable nature of hockey itself. Branigan’s rendition transformed Umberto Tozzi’s original into an 80s synth-pop masterpiece, a high-energy anthem that’s impossible not to sing along to. It’s the “Gloria song” that gets you moving, the one that soundtracks both personal triumphs and, for the Blues, unexpected victories. Despite the team’s Game 3 loss, “Gloria” remains their rallying cry, a reminder to keep pushing forward, even when things get hectic.

1. “Gloria” – Patti Smith: Punk Rock Reimagining

Patti Smith’s “Gloria” isn’t just the best “Gloria song”; it’s a punk rock revolution. Taking Van Morrison’s already iconic three-chord structure, Smith transforms it into something entirely her own. While Morrison’s version is lauded for its groundbreaking nature and has been covered by countless legends (from David Bowie to Tom Petty), Patti Smith’s rendition is a definitive statement. She fuses the garage rock staple with her powerful poem “Oath,” unleashing a blues-infused punk explosion that starts with the unforgettable line: “Jesus died for somebody’s sins, but not mine.” This opening declaration sets the stage for a performance that is both raw and transcendent. Patti Smith’s “Gloria” is more than a cover; it’s a re-creation, a powerful assertion of individuality and artistic vision that crowns it the ultimate “Gloria song.”


It Rhymes With Feeling is a newsletter from Megan Seling. You can also follow her on Twitter.

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