Losing someone we love is an incredibly painful experience. In the aftermath of loss, it can feel like navigating a maze of complex emotions, from deep sadness and confusion to anger and even guilt. During these dark times, many find comfort and understanding in unexpected places. For me, and perhaps for you too, music has become a vital companion in processing grief. Like many others grappling with bereavement, I turned to music to articulate the inexpressible, creating a personal grief playlist. This collection of songs, born from a desire to find something that truly “got me,” became an emotional lifeline. If you are currently navigating the difficult terrain of grief, I hope sharing these songs offers you a sense of connection and perhaps a small measure of comfort. My heart goes out to you.
Visiting Hours – Ed Sheeran
“I will close the door but I will open up my heart, and everyone I love will know exactly who you are”
Before experiencing profound grief myself, the sheer longing encapsulated in “Visiting Hours” didn’t fully resonate. Ed Sheeran masterfully captures that universal human desire to transcend the boundaries of life and death, to simply visit our departed loved ones whenever we feel the need. My dad’s open invitation, “Come over anytime, I’ll be here,” now echoes with a painful irony. Sheeran’s songwriting genius lies in articulating the unspoken desires of the grieving heart, the yearning for just one more conversation, one more moment. This song beautifully expresses the wish to keep the connection alive, even when physical visits are no longer possible. It speaks to the enduring love that transcends loss.
Joanne – Lady Gaga
“Heaven’s not ready for you; every part of my aching heart needs you more than the angels do”
“Joanne” is a deeply personal song for Lady Gaga, inspired by her aunt, Joanne Germanotta, who passed away due to complications from lupus. Though Gaga never met her aunt, Joanne’s story profoundly impacted her and her family, particularly her father. Writing this song became a way for Gaga to process her father’s grief and connect with a family history marked by loss. While rooted in Gaga’s personal experience, “Joanne” possesses a universal appeal, resonating with anyone who has experienced the pain of losing someone they weren’t ready to let go. The raw emotion in the lyrics, especially the opening lines, speaks to the desperate feeling of wanting more time, of believing that the departed person was simply too precious to be taken away. Discovering “Joanne” during a period of intense grief felt like finding a voice for my own disbelief and heartache. It’s a powerful reminder that grief can connect us across personal stories and artistic expressions.
Marjorie – Taylor Swift
“Should have kept every grocery store receipt, cause every scrap of you would be taken from me”
As a devoted Taylor Swift fan, including her music in this list was inevitable. “Marjorie,” from the Evermore album, stands out as a particularly poignant song about grief. It’s a loving tribute to Swift’s grandmother, Marjorie Finlay, celebrating her wisdom and influence. The lyrics weave in advice Marjorie gave to Taylor, such as “never be so kind you forget to be clever, never be so clever you forget to be kind,” and express a longing for a deeper connection with her grandmother. This sentiment of wishing you knew more about a loved one after they’re gone is deeply relatable. The song beautifully captures the regret of unasked questions and the realization of missed opportunities for deeper connection. The line about keeping grocery store receipts is particularly striking, highlighting the desire to hold onto even the smallest fragments of a lost loved one’s life. After losing my dad, this resonated deeply. The urge to preserve tangible pieces of him became overwhelming. Holding onto his fleece, his spitfire pin, his model plane, and bonsai trees became a way to keep him present. While grief stages might be a debated concept, the tangible comfort of small mementos is undeniably real. “Marjorie” validates the need to hold onto these fragments of memory.
Slipped Away – Avril Lavigne
“I miss you. I miss you so bad. I don’t forget you. Oh, it’s so sad. I hope you can hear me, I remember it clearly. The day you slipped away was the day I found it won’t be the same”
Many Songs About Grief capture the feeling in a few powerful lines, but Avril Lavigne’s “Slipped Away” feels like an entire song dedicated to the raw, unfiltered emotions of loss. Almost every lyric resonates with the experience of grief, expressing the simple yet profound pain of missing someone deeply. Inspired by Avril’s grandfather and her regret at not saying goodbye due to being on tour, the song’s strength lies in its simplicity. There are no elaborate metaphors or complex verses, just a direct expression of pain and longing. For me, while I was fortunate to say goodbye to my dad, the core message of irreversible change in “Slipped Away” is profoundly accurate. The moment of saying goodbye is a stark demarcation line. Life is irrevocably altered. Returning from the hospital, mundane actions felt surreal, highlighting the jarring contrast between the normalcy of routine and the monumental shift of loss. “Slipped Away” encapsulates this disorienting reality of grief.
Monsters – James Blunt
“No need to forgive, no need to forget, I know your mistakes and you know mine. And while you’re sleeping, I’ll try to make you proud, so Daddy, won’t you just close your eyes. Don’t be afraid, it’s my turn to chase the monsters away”
Hearing James Blunt’s “Monsters” for the first time was a visceral experience. The song, written about his father’s diagnosis with late-stage kidney disease, powerfully confronts the mortality of a parent. Blunt’s poignant lyrics explore the complex emotions of love, acceptance, and the role reversal that occurs as children become caregivers. The raw vulnerability in his voice and lyrics immediately struck a chord. The song’s impact intensified because it coincided with my own confrontation with my dad’s mortality during a heart attack in 2019. The fear of losing him was overwhelming. Seeing him in the hospital, his humor still present amidst the seriousness, offered a fragile hope. After his passing, “Monsters” took on an even deeper meaning. The “farewell letter” quality of the lyrics, particularly “I know your mistakes and you know mine,” speaks to the essence of goodbyes. In those final moments, trivialities fade away. Forgiveness and past grievances become irrelevant, replaced by a profound desire for connection, reassurance, and love. “Monsters” beautifully captures this poignant truth about saying goodbye.
Sidelines – Phoebe Bridgers
“Watching the world from the sidelines, had nothing to lose, till you came into my life, gave me something to lose”
While not explicitly about grief, Phoebe Bridgers’ “Sidelines” evokes the emotional landscape of early bereavement. Featured in the TV adaptation of Conversations With Friends, a show I turned to for comfort during my dad’s illness, the song unexpectedly resonated. Despite the show’s mixed reception, the themes of connection and loss hit hard during that vulnerable time. The lyrics, “Watching the world from the sidelines,” perfectly encapsulate the feeling of detachment that can accompany grief. Life continues around you, but you feel removed, observing from a distance while immersed in your internal world of sorrow. The line “had nothing to lose, till you came into my life, gave me something to lose” speaks to the profound impact of love and loss. Grief is the price of love, and this song beautifully acknowledges the bittersweet reality that deep connection inevitably brings the potential for deep pain. “Sidelines” captures the sense of being adrift in grief, watching life unfold from a detached perspective, and grappling with the raw reality of loss.
Home to You – Sigrid
“When I don’t know what to say, when I don’t know what to do, would it be okay if I came home to you?”
“Home to You” by Sigrid is a song that arrived at a crucial moment, becoming deeply intertwined with my grief journey. Back in 2021, after losing a dear family friend to pancreatic cancer, I first heard this song during a Stand Up to Cancer program. It evoked cherished memories of our friend and the joyful moments of my childhood he was a part of. The song resurfaced on shuffle during the drive home from his funeral, feeling like a comforting sign, a permission to grieve openly. Since my dad’s passing, “Home to You” has gained even more significance. It now embodies the comforting presence of both my friend and my dad. It echoes my dad’s constant reassurance, “Come over anytime, I’ll be here,” and “I’m always pleased to see you, my love.” The song captures the longing for that safe haven, that feeling of unconditional welcome. The image of his empty armchair after he died remains a poignant reminder of this lost sanctuary, making “Home to You” a bittersweet and deeply emotional song.
Ronan (Taylor’s Version) – Taylor Swift
“Flowers pile up in the worst way, no one knows what to say”
Taylor Swift’s “Ronan” is a profoundly moving and heart-wrenching masterpiece when it comes to songs about the loss of a child and, more broadly, the devastating experience of losing a loved one. Written as a tribute to three-year-old Ronan Thompson, who tragically passed away from neuroblastoma in 2011, the song draws directly from his mother Maya’s blog, documenting their journey. This realness amplifies the song’s emotional impact. While the entire song is beautiful and emotionally resonant, certain lines particularly stand out in capturing the grief experience. “Flowers pile up in the worst way, no one knows what to say” perfectly encapsulates the awkwardness and inadequacy of condolences. People struggle to find the right words, and traditional sympathy gestures can feel hollow. Another powerful line, “what if I’m standing in your closet trying to talk to you,” speaks to the yearning for continued connection, the impulse to seek out familiar spaces and communicate with the departed. Even months after losing my dad, the feeling of people not knowing what to say remains. Small, personal rituals, like talking to his bonsai trees, become a way to maintain that connection, validating the deeply human need to keep talking to those we’ve lost. “Ronan” gives voice to these often unspoken aspects of grief.
Bigger Than the Whole Sky – Taylor Swift
“Did some force take you because I didn’t pray? Every single thing to come has turned into ashes, cause it’s all over, it’s not meant to be, so I’ll say words I don’t believe”
A more recent addition to my grief playlist is Taylor Swift’s “Bigger Than the Whole Sky,” from her Midnights (3am Edition) album. This song delivers an unexpected emotional blow, exploring themes of loss and the feeling that time with a loved one was tragically insufficient. While fan theories suggest it might be about pregnancy loss, its themes are universally applicable to grief in any form. For me, the song immediately evoked thoughts of my dad and the wish for more time together. The lyrics capture the disorienting and almost unbelievable nature of sudden loss, the feeling that the future has been irrevocably altered. “Every single thing to come has turned into ashes” poignantly expresses the way grief can cast a shadow over everything. The line “Did some force take you because I didn’t pray?” hints at the guilt and self-blame that can accompany grief, the desperate search for reasons and the futile wish to have changed the outcome. “Bigger Than the Whole Sky” encapsulates the raw, questioning, and deeply sorrowful aspects of grief, leaving a lasting emotional impact.
Blackbird – The Beatles
“Take these broken wings and learn to fly”
Finally, “Blackbird” by The Beatles holds a particularly poignant place in my grief journey. Embarrassingly, I only discovered my dad’s deep love for The Beatles after he passed away. “Blackbird,” along with “In My Life,” became part of his funeral service. Both songs were deeply emotional, but “Blackbird” especially resonated. Now, any Beatles song triggers memories of him, but the opening chords of “Blackbird” are particularly evocative, instantly bringing tears. The song’s gentle melody and hopeful lyrics about resilience and overcoming adversity, “Take these broken wings and learn to fly,” offer a paradoxical comfort in grief. While loss can feel like it breaks us, music like “Blackbird” reminds us of the capacity for healing and the possibility of finding strength even in the midst of sorrow. It’s a reminder of hope amidst heartbreak, making it a powerful and enduring song for navigating grief.
This collection represents just a small selection of songs that have offered me solace and connection during my grief. You can listen to the complete Grief Playlist on Spotify. Music possesses a unique ability to articulate the complexities of grief, offering comfort, validation, and a sense of shared experience. What songs have helped you navigate your own experiences of grief and loss? Please share your recommendations in the comments below – creating a community of shared support through music can be incredibly healing.
