Every year as summer drew to a close and back-to-school loomed, a familiar wave of anxiety would wash over my children. As daylight faded, their worries would bubble up in a flurry of questions, each one a plea for reassurance in the face of the unknown.
“Will my friends be in my class?” “Will my teacher like me?” “Will I be alone at lunchtime?”
My instinct was always to provide answers, to soothe their fears with solutions and certainties. Looking back, I realize now that what they truly needed wasn’t a fix, but a space to voice their anxieties, a listening ear to simply acknowledge their feelings without the pressure of immediate remedies.
Life often presents moments where what we crave most isn’t advice or solutions, but simply to be heard. To have someone truly listen, absorbing the anxieties of our hearts without feeling compelled to immediately respond or resolve. It’s about offering presence, not just pronouncements.
I confess, being a listener hasn’t always been my strength. A well-meaning teacher once encouraged me to memorize James 1:19: “My dear brothers and sisters, take note of this: Everyone should be quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to become angry…” For years, I interpreted this verse as a gentle reprimand from my childhood – “Lynn, you talk too much.” However, lately, I’ve come to understand it as a guiding principle for my various roles: as a daughter, mother, wife, friend, and colleague. It’s not just about talking less, but about genuinely hearing those around me.
James wisely challenges us to become the empathic listeners others deeply need. He calls us, regardless of our immediate role, to intentionally slow down and truly listen.
This isn’t about mentally preparing our own stories, searching for comforting Bible verses to quickly patch up their sadness, or urging them to see the positive side to dismiss their uncomfortable feelings. It’s certainly not about rushing them so we can get back to our to-do list (and yes, I’ve been guilty of all of these!).
Instead, James, reminding us of our beloved status, urges us to prioritize listening and to approach speaking with thoughtfulness and care.
James’s words deeply challenge me. I’m naturally a “get-it-done” person, wired to fix problems and move on. But James gently redirects my focus: achieving tasks isn’t the ultimate goal. Loving people well is. And in its purest form, listening is an act of love, a way to “let me love u” in the most meaningful way. Think about a heartfelt “Let Me Love U Song” – it resonates because it speaks to the deep human need for understanding and connection. Listening offers that same connection in real life.
Empowered by Jesus and guided by James’s wisdom, you and I can truly love people by listening well.
Jesus, my natural inclination is to speak quickly and listen slowly. I desire to love people as You do. Give me the strength to slow down and genuinely hear those around me. In Your Name, Amen.
Woman listening attentively to another woman, demonstrating empathy and support
EXPLORE FURTHER
Have you ever felt utterly alone, or worried that your true self might be unlikable? In those moments of hesitation and isolation, God’s Word offers solace. “You have searched me, LORD, and you know me.” (Psalm 139:1, NIV). Our “Known” Cuff serves as a tangible reminder of this truth, a touchstone in times of need. Click here to discover more.
The reassurance that our Father always listens and loves us can calm even the most anxious young hearts. Loved & Cherished: 100 Devotions for Girls by Lynn Cowell and Michelle Nietert, designed for girls aged 8-12, instills this vital truth. Find a copy for your girl here.
ENGAGE DEEPER
Lynn Cowell and Michelle Nietert offer resources to help you become the empathetic listener you aspire to be! Visit Lynn’s website and receive a free downloadable discussion guide, “Become a Better Listener.” Click here to access yours!
FOR CONTINUED LEARNING
Philippians 2:4 encourages us: “Let each of you look not only to his own interests, but also to the interests of others.” (ESV)
The book of Proverbs is rich with wisdom for those striving to improve their listening skills. Reflect on these verses from King Solomon: Proverbs 1:5, Proverbs 18:13, and Proverbs 18:2. Then, craft your own personal proverb to guide your listening journey.
Who do you know who embodies empathetic listening? What specific qualities do they demonstrate? Share your insights in the comments!
© 2021 by Lynn Cowell. All rights reserved.
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