Greywind, the sibling duo comprised of Steph and Paul O’Sullivan, have carved a unique space within Ireland’s emo scene, fearlessly exploring themes often left unspoken. Their latest single, “Sway Song,” penned by Paul, offers an intimate glimpse into Steph’s battles with mental health in the wake of their uncle’s passing. This track, “Sway Song,” and their broader discography resonate deeply with listeners through its raw vulnerability and unflinching honesty when addressing grief and emotional struggles.
Sounds of Saving engaged in a compelling conversation with Greywind, delving into the heart of “Sway Song”, their songwriting process, and the profound impact of grief on their lives and music.
January 31, 2024
Interview by Alyssa Goldberg
Greywind band portrait. Siblings Steph and Paul O'Sullivan of Greywind, an Irish emo band known for their song 'Sway Song', pose for a promotional photo.Photo Courtesy of Greywind
Unpacking “Sway Song”: Confronting Mental Health Struggles
SOS: Your poignant new single, “Sway Song,” directly addresses your personal journey through depression and suicidal thoughts within your family. Could you elaborate on how these deeply personal experiences have reshaped your perspectives and lives?
STEPH: Our initial encounter with suicide and the complexities of mental health was the devastating loss of our uncle to suicide when we were teenagers. This tragic event served as a stark awakening, highlighting the fragility of life and the paramount importance of pursuing passions. This realization was the catalyst for the inception of Greywind. In fact, the tracks on our debut album were born from the raw emotions of grief and bereavement. Both Paul and I have navigated our own battles with depression and anxiety. My anxiety, in particular, intensified significantly after we launched Greywind, amplified by the inherent pressures of the music industry. The tumultuous journey we experienced within the industry took a heavy toll on my mental well-being, leading to suicidal ideation and profound distress. “Sway Song” emerged from this challenging period. Paul crafted the song as an observation of my struggle, witnessing my pain and vulnerability. Thankfully, I’ve navigated my way out of that intense darkness. While mental health remains an ongoing journey with its ebbs and flows, we are both in a much healthier and more stable space now. The process of writing and performing our first album proved immensely therapeutic. Witnessing fans connect with our music and share their own stories of resonance has been profoundly healing. It fostered a sense of shared experience, diminishing feelings of isolation. And when listeners express that our music has offered them solace and a sense of not being alone, it reinforces the meaningful impact of our work.
SOS: Within “Sway Song,” are there specific lyrics that you feel most powerfully capture the essence of your emotional state during that difficult time?
PAUL: With “Sway Song,” my intention was to articulate the perspective of someone witnessing a loved one’s struggle. I wanted to explore the feelings of helplessness and the desperate desire to offer rescue and support. This is why “Sway Song” holds a special significance for me; it’s profoundly personal. We are eager for it to reach listeners, hoping it can serve as a source of comfort and understanding for those who are also grappling with similar challenges.
STEPH: The opening line, “A simple remedy will make this go away,” is incredibly impactful. It encapsulates that fleeting thought, that deceptive notion that ending everything might offer a release from pain, a cessation of feeling altogether. It’s a stark and unsettling introduction to the song, arguably the most powerful opening we’ve ever written. The rawness of it is palpable. We haven’t yet performed “Sway Song” live, but we are scheduled to later this month. I anticipate that singing those words in front of an audience will be an intensely emotional and transformative experience.
PAUL: I believe “I’m hanging from a tree and you won’t cut me down” is possibly the most impactful lyric I’ve ever written. It carries a darkness, yet it’s intended to convey a sense of desperate yearning to help. It’s about feeling burdened by the weight of seeing someone you love in immense pain and wanting to alleviate their suffering.
STEPH: It’s that feeling of being trapped, of being stuck in that dark place.
PAUL: Exactly. It’s the weight of witnessing someone else’s struggle, feeling their burden as your own. That line, for me, encapsulates the core emotion of the entire song.
Getting to see fans relate to it and share their stories with us has helped me a lot because I feel like I’m not alone, and then when they say they’re not alone because of our music, it’s great.
The Evolving Landscape of Mental Health and Music’s Influence
SOS: Indeed, it’s a sentiment that resonates deeply and will undoubtedly connect with many listeners, particularly within the emo music community. Reflecting on your personal journey, how has your relationship with mental health evolved over the years? Has music played a significant role in this evolution?
STEPH: As I mentioned earlier, I went through an incredibly challenging period about five or six years ago. I was consumed by hopelessness, convinced that there was no escape, no light at the end of the tunnel. The music industry, which should have been a source of joy, seemed to exacerbate my struggles tenfold. I questioned my place in the band, wondering if it was doing more harm than good. Negative self-talk became pervasive: ‘I can’t sing, I’m not good enough, everyone dislikes us.’ These thoughts were relentless. Seeking professional help, embracing therapy and medication, and actively engaging in self-care were crucial turning points. Looking back, I’m grateful for that difficult period. It was a profound learning experience. Now, when fans reach out, sharing their own battles, I feel a deeper sense of empathy and connection. I can relate to their struggles on a more profound level, perhaps more so than someone who hasn’t walked a similar path. Therapy equipped me with invaluable tools and perspectives.
I would have all these thoughts thinking, ‘Oh my god, I can’t sing. I can’t do anything. Everyone hates me. Why does no one like us?’ But I went to therapy. I had my medication, and I really worked on myself.
PAUL: We were unfortunately surrounded by toxic influences within the music industry. When you’re already vulnerable due to mental health challenges, such environments can amplify negativity exponentially. However, this isn’t unique to the music industry. Toxic relationships can exist in friendships, even within families. Extricating ourselves from those detrimental situations and consciously cultivating a circle of supportive and positive people has been transformative for both of us.
STEPH: Many people underestimate the profoundly negative impact that toxic relationships can have on mental well-being. It’s a gradual realization. I was entangled in friendships and relationships with individuals who were ultimately detrimental to my mental health. Initially, you might rationalize it, believing they are supportive or helpful. It takes time to recognize that they are, in fact, contributing to the problem, or even are the problem.
SOS: That’s such a crucial point about the impact of our social circles. It’s often difficult to recognize how certain individuals can drain our energy or, conversely, empower us to thrive.
PAUL: Absolutely, 100%.
SOS: The music industry, with its inherent competitiveness, can be particularly challenging. Yet, it also has the potential to foster a deeply supportive community.
STEPH: Yes, and we’re fortunate to experience that now with our current team. Our manager, bandmates, label – everyone is genuinely supportive and positive. We are now very mindful of who we allow into our inner circle, given our past negative experiences. It’s that draining feeling you get after spending time with someone, feeling completely depleted. It prompts you to question why you’re maintaining those connections, whether personal or professional. Life should be enjoyable, and surrounding yourself with positive people is essential.
PAUL: The music industry presents unique challenges, especially early in your career when you often have to place trust in strangers. While the landscape is shifting with platforms like TikTok and Instagram offering more direct routes, traditionally, establishing a career required management and label support. These initial partnerships often involve handing over significant control and financial stakes to people you barely know. The music industry can be a very unusual and precarious space.
SOS: I’m truly glad to hear that you’ve found a supportive team. It’s invaluable, especially when delving into such personal and vulnerable material in your music. Having a team that champions your vision is critical. Thank you for openly sharing your experiences with loss and suicidal ideation. How has grief shaped you both as artists and as individuals?
STEPH: I believe that Greywind wouldn’t exist as we know it without those experiences. As devastating as our losses and struggles have been, there’s a strange sense of pride in the music that has emerged from those dark places. If our songs can offer solace and a pathway through grief for others – and we’ve heard from many who say they have – then something positive has emerged from profound pain.
PAUL: I echo that completely. Initially, songwriting is a personal act, driven by the love of creation. But when you receive messages from people saying ‘your song saved my life’ or see your lyrics tattooed on someone, it elevates the impact of your music to an entirely different level.
STEPH: It makes the pain feel almost… worthwhile, in a strange way. Looking back at the time of our uncle’s passing and everything that followed, if you had told me then that we would create music about it that would resonate with and even help others, it would have seemed surreal. It’s a profound and unexpected outcome. Many artists shy away from these deeply personal and difficult topics in their songwriting, so I believe it’s essential for bands like us to address them openly and contribute to the conversation.
PAUL: While many bands touch upon these themes, our approach tends to be more direct and less veiled. Our lyrics are blunt, ensuring listeners understand the raw reality behind our words. We pour our entire selves into our music. With our new song, “Sway Song,” releasing this Friday, listeners will experience our most lyrically exposed and vulnerable work to date. We are incredibly proud of the music we are creating.
SOS: Grief is a universal human experience, yet it remains a taboo subject in everyday conversation. Music provides a vital outlet for exploring these complex emotions and forging connections. It can be challenging to articulate grief even to close friends.
STEPH: Yes, I remember feeling apprehensive about seeking therapy years ago. Especially in Ireland, I think, although I’m not sure about America, mental health is still somewhat… taboo. People are often uncomfortable discussing it openly. But it’s so crucial. I advocate for therapy to everyone. I believe everyone could benefit from therapy at some point in their life, even if they don’t perceive themselves as struggling. The simple act of talking, whether to a therapist, a trusted friend, or a family member, is immensely powerful. I’ve become much more open over time. Years ago, I would barely confide in Paul about my struggles. “Sway Song” originated from Paul witnessing my pain, but I wasn’t openly communicating the extent of it. It’s so important to speak out because, as you said, everyone, at some point in their lives, will grapple with mental health challenges.
PAUL: Exactly, 100%.
SOS: If you’re comfortable answering, considering you are siblings who shared the loss of your uncle, grief manifests uniquely in each individual. Did music become a shared space for processing grief early on, or was it a more individual journey initially, with music eventually bringing you together?
PAUL: Our uncle’s passing undeniably strengthened our bond. We played “Hear You Me” by Jimmy Eat World at his funeral, our first time performing in front of…
STEPH: People.
PAUL: It feels strange to call it an “audience” at a funeral. But that experience was transformative. Music became a way to breathe, to find solace in our favorite songs, to practice together, and to reminisce about the positive memories of our uncle. He had lived with us just a month before he moved to the U.S. and then… this happened. We were incredibly close to him.
STEPH: He was like a second father to us, our dad’s brother, but it felt like having two dads at home. He cooked for us, was deeply involved in our lives. His passing was devastating. I remember we started practicing covers, I think we were playing a Fall Out Boy song in Paul’s room when Mom came in to tell us. It was surreal. I struggled to process it.
PAUL: It underscores how often we are unaware of the inner turmoil someone might be experiencing. We lived with him.
STEPH: You would never have suspected he was struggling so deeply.
PAUL: Exactly. People often conceal their true feelings. That’s why open communication is so vital.
SOS: I deeply resonate with your experience. I, too, have lost someone to suicide, someone I never would have suspected. The initial shock was physically and emotionally shattering. I truly appreciate you both sharing your grief journey. Transforming that pain into creative expression and connecting with so many listeners through your lyrics is incredibly powerful.
PAUL: When it happened, we weren’t even a band yet. “Afterthoughts,” our first song, was directly about our uncle. The central lyric, “Would you do it again?” reflects the raw, personal grief. Our entire debut album was inspired by that event, exploring how to navigate life’s darkest moments. In the past year, as our songs gained traction on Instagram and TikTok, many people have discovered our debut album and connected deeply with those songs. It’s incredibly rewarding, especially now as we release new music for a larger audience. Positive things have emerged from the deepest darkness.
STEPH: I had wanted to be in a band since I was about 12, after discovering My Chemical Romance. Paul had always written songs but was unsure of his direction. Our uncle’s passing was the catalyst. Greywind was born from that tragedy. From something incredibly painful, something positive emerged – a way to…
PAUL: Express ourselves.
STEPH: Yes.
SOS: Thank you for sharing so openly. Speaking of coping, we have a project called “Song That Found Me at the Right Time.” What are a few songs that have been sources of comfort and coping during difficult times for you?
PAUL: “Hear You Me” by Jimmy Eat World. It’s the song we played at his funeral, and it remains one of the most beautiful songs ever written. Jimmy Eat World is one of my all-time favorite bands.
STEPH: I remember the impact “Hear You Me” had at the funeral. It became a song that our family, especially our dad…
PAUL: He posts it on Facebook every year, that Jimmy Eat World song.
STEPH: Yes. It’s a song that carries immense meaning for him and helps him process his grief. And when he heard our songs, it became another way for him to cope, I think, with his own profound loss. Another song is “Famous Last Words” by My Chemical Romance. It’s incredibly powerful and special. The chorus, “I’m not afraid to keep on living,” is incredibly resonant. Those are probably the two most impactful for me.
PAUL: “Let It Happen,” also by Jimmy Eat World, is another. The melody alone instantly lifts my spirits. Some songs, even without focusing on the lyrics, have melodies that inherently make you feel better. That’s one of them.
SOS: Those are wonderful choices. I had a feeling “Hear You Me” might be mentioned. The chorus, “May angels lead you in,” is so fitting. Resilience has been a recurring theme throughout our conversation. Is there something you’ve learned through these experiences that you would share with your younger selves or with someone watching this interview?
PAUL: For me, it’s patience, which is incredibly difficult. It’s easy to tell someone ‘things will get better,’ but patience is key.
STEPH: I often say that when you’re in a dark place, hearing ‘it’ll get better, it’s okay’ can be…
PAUL: That’s all I say!
STEPH: Yes, I remember!
PAUL: I was right!
STEPH: It used to make me feel worse! I would think, ‘No, it won’t.’ But then you realize… it does. Like Paul said, patience is essential. Things do get better.
PAUL: In all situations, especially navigating out of dark times, patience is crucial. Surround yourself with positive people and pursue your dreams. Patience is always paramount. Our debut album came out in 2017, we poured our hearts into it, but it only reached millions of people in the last year. Our patience in believing in our music and ourselves, in persevering through difficult times… we feel like we are now being rewarded for that resilience.
SOS: It reminds me of being a teenager, talking to my mom about my feelings, and her saying, ‘Everyone feels this way. It’ll get better.’ But I’d think, ‘You don’t understand my feelings! Mine are unique and worse!’
STEPH: Yes, I completely understand that.
SOS: Mental health is cyclical. And that’s intertwined with ‘it will get better.’ There will be better days, and then perhaps a very challenging day. But knowing it’s not permanent can be incredibly helpful.
STEPH: Exactly. Now, when I have those days where I can’t get out of bed or feel intensely anxious, I’ve trained myself to think, ‘Okay, I’ve navigated this before. It’s temporary.’ You allow the emotions to subside, ‘let it happen,’ like the Jimmy Eat World song suggests, and it will be okay.
