Life has moments that stop you in your tracks, moments that redefine everything. For me, one of those moments arrived with a stage 4 breast cancer diagnosis. Adding to the emotional turmoil, we faced rejection from an adoption agency, crushing our dreams of parenthood. It was during this period of profound heartache that the song “Let It Go” from Disney’s “Frozen” unexpectedly resonated with me on a deeply personal level. While I had always appreciated the song and the movie, it took on a new, powerful meaning. In the face of despair, I made a conscious decision: my pain would not steal my joy. My husband and I had navigated countless paths to build our family, but now, it was time to truly “let it go.”
We embraced the philosophy of releasing what we couldn’t control. The anger, the stress, the energy wasted on insurmountable obstacles – it was time to consciously let them dissipate. Instead, we actively pursued joy, cultivated happiness, and sought out the light in new adventures. Cancer, with its stage 4 stamp, cast a long shadow of mortality, but my response was a fierce desire to truly live. I resolved to honor my life by dedicating myself to supporting others battling breast cancer. For nearly two years, I felt as though cancer had hijacked my existence. Life was put on hold, dictated by appointments and anxieties.
Then, one day in June 2020, standing at my kitchen sink, a pivotal shift occurred. I yearned for liberation from the grip of pain and the constant control cancer exerted over my decisions. It wasn’t about succumbing to negativity; it was about reclaiming agency. Four months into stability, having made the empowering decision to change oncologists, I began piecing my life back together. From that moment forward, I consciously chose to release the lingering frustrations of misdiagnosis and the feeling of lost time.
Letting go became an active process of dismantling cancer’s dominion over my life and mind. I prioritized my well-being and set new goals. I accepted the ever-present anxiety of potential cancer recurrence, letting go of the illusion of returning to an untouched “old me.” My focus sharpened on nurturing the “new me,” the person emerging from this challenging journey.
It’s undeniably easier to dwell on complaints and negativity. The real challenge lies in permanently releasing a burden and resisting the urge to revisit it. “Let It Go” provided the perfect mantra. It served as a constant reminder that I was clinging to expectations, struggles, and hurts. To solidify this practice of release, I developed a symbolic ritual. I would write down what I wanted to let go of on paper, crumple it tightly, and burn it, often using junk mail as fuel for this cathartic act.
Over a year and a half later, embracing the “letting go” philosophy has proven to be vital for my survival, both physically and emotionally. Facing a life-threatening illness takes a significant toll on mental health. Within the cancer community, while support is growing, mental health resources still need further development. Finding solace and strength in online breast cancer support groups, connecting with fellow “meta-sisters” and “pink sisters,” has been instrumental in nurturing my mental well-being. Journaling and planning, outlining daily, weekly, and monthly priorities, also became essential tools for focus and intention. Above all, music became my constant companion, a source of healing and renewal.
The choice to consistently let go remains a challenging one, requiring ongoing effort. Yet, this philosophy acts as my shield, my way of processing hardships and frustrations, and most importantly, protecting my joy. Joy, in its purest form, can be elusive in adulthood. Through this journey, I’ve learned to find joy in smaller moments, the unexpected little things that cultivate gratitude, humility, and kindness.
My heartfelt advice to anyone navigating the challenges of cancer or any significant hardship is this: put on the “Let It Go” song. Close your eyes and consciously consider what you need to release.
Can you write it down? Crumple it up? Burn it? Open your eyes and believe in your capacity to let go. You can, and you will find a path forward.
#gracegritgratitude
