Valentine’s Day often pushes us towards romantic movies, and this year, I somehow landed on “The Last Song.” It’s not “The Notebook,” or even “A Walk to Remember,” but there was something about “The Last Song” that held my attention, even though it’s… well, it’s a lot. Maybe it was the poster promising a cheesy romance, or maybe morbid curiosity about Miley Cyrus in a Nicholas Sparks movie – especially knowing Sparks wrote it for her. Whatever the reason, I pressed play, and couldn’t look away from this cinematic train wreck.
From the first scene, it’s clear we’re in for a ride. Miley Cyrus plays Ronnie, a deeply angsty teenager who is forced to spend the summer with her father, Steve (Greg Kinnear), in a picturesque beach town. Ronnie arrives with the full teenage rebellion starter pack: hoodie up, perpetual pout, and a general aura of displeasure. She stomps around in black combat boots, radiating teenage angst like it’s her job. Her younger brother Jonah, in contrast, is thrilled to be with their dad, highlighting Ronnie’s almost comical level of self-absorption and apparent disdain for her kind, if slightly clueless, father.
Then comes the meet-cute, if you can call it that. Ronnie encounters local heartthrob Will (Liam Hemsworth) after he spills a milkshake on her. Naturally, she reacts by snapping at him. Despite this charming first interaction, Will, undeterred, begins his pursuit of Ronnie. And, because this is a Nicholas Sparks movie, she eventually melts, leading to the inevitable romantic montage. We’re treated to scenes of them engaging in peak cutesy couple activities – walks on the beach, ice cream sharing, the whole predictable package.
Miley Cyrus and Liam Hemsworth share a moment in “The Last Song,” a film known for its melodramatic plot and on-screen chemistry.
The movie takes a sharp turn into melodrama when Ronnie discovers her father has cancer (because what’s a Sparks movie without a terminal illness?). Suddenly, Ronnie’s teenage angst vanishes, replaced by the good daughter persona. She transforms into a caring figure, dedicated to her father’s well-being and eager to make him proud with her music. This abrupt shift feels jarring and unearned, sacrificing character development for plot convenience.
Despite the stunning beach cinematography, let’s be clear: “The Last Song” is not a good movie. The moment Miley Cyrus’s predictably saccharine song plays over the final scene, it’s a stark reminder of the cinematic journey you’ve just endured. One can argue that a more seasoned actress might have elevated the role, but the script itself is a major hurdle. It awkwardly mashes together family drama and teen romance, resulting in a tonally inconsistent and ultimately unsatisfying film.
So, why the “love to hate” confession? Because amidst the cringe-worthy moments, there’s a strange, almost comedic appeal. Remember the scene where Ronnie sings along to “She Will Be Loved” in the car with Will, and he actually compliments her dog-howl rendition? Or the infamous purple dress she wears to Will’s sister’s wedding, which he also inexplicably praises? These moments are unintentionally hilarious and add to the movie’s bizarre charm.
Ultimately, “The Last Song” is watchable for its beautiful beach scenery, if nothing else. Perhaps the best approach is to mute the movie whenever Miley Cyrus is on screen – a difficult task, admittedly. In my ongoing quest to avoid willingly watching more Miley Cyrus films, I’m always on the lookout for the next terrible movie to dissect. So, please, send your recommendations my way.
