My name is Nancy Gustafson, and like many, I’ve witnessed firsthand the profound impact of dementia, particularly on communication. It’s heartbreaking to see a loved one, once vibrant and communicative, become lost within themselves, struggling to connect and converse. This aspect of Alzheimer’s and dementia is perhaps the most distressing, observing their inability to express themselves and engage with the world around them.
In October 2014, visiting my mother in her Memory Care unit in Costa Mesa, California, the rapid decline in her health was stark and painful. Confined to a wheelchair, she didn’t recognize me and couldn’t participate in any conversation. She seemed profoundly lost, unable to formulate thoughts or articulate words. It was a moment that truly broke my heart, witnessing her isolation.
Driven by a desire to reach her, I turned to music. I sat at the piano, an instrument I’m not particularly skilled at, and began to play Christmas carols. To my surprise, Mom started to sing along, seemingly unfazed by my less-than-perfect piano playing. After about fifteen minutes, I looked at her, and she remarked, “You know that’s not very good.”
Tears welled up in my eyes, but this time, they were tears of joy. Mom had expressed a coherent thought, and an honest one at that! We shared a laugh, and I promised to choose easier songs for the piano. We continued singing, sticking to the Key of C! After a few more Songs For Heart, I looked at Mom again, still singing along, and she spoke once more, saying, “You’re getting better.”
Nancy Gustafson shares a heartfelt moment with her mother, who has dementia, illustrating the power of songs for heart and connection through music in memory care.
We laughed together, and I jokingly suggested that if we improved enough, we could sing in shopping malls at Christmas for some extra money. Without hesitation, she responded, “Yeah, the Gustafson family singers”.
In that precious moment of connection, I realized the path forward. I couldn’t bear the thought of another day passing where my mother, and others like her, remained disconnected, lost in their own world, feeling frightened and alone. Music held the key, the power to bridge the gap created by memory loss, to reconnect individuals to each other, to the world, and to the simple joy of music itself. It was clear: a program needed to be created, one that harnessed this incredible power of music to enrich the lives of people living with dementia, every single day, offering them moments of connection and joy through songs for heart and soul.
