Last week, the internet was buzzing about Mastodon’s new video and whether it was sexist. But enough about butts – let’s move on to another equally compelling bodily function: farts!
Have you ever noticed how the American Horror Story theme song sounds suspiciously like a chorus of industrial farts? It’s true! The show’s eerie intro got us thinking about songs that celebrate, intentionally or unintentionally, the glorious sound of flatulence. Surprisingly, the realm of “Fart Songs” is less explored than you might imagine. Despite the internet’s love for toilet humor, genuine musical odes to farts are a rare, if hilarious, breed. Forget those fake Pussycat Dolls lyrics about hating farts – we’re on a quest for the real deal.
To delve into this fragrant field of music, we consulted our network of self-proclaimed “fart experts” (yes, they exist). Brace yourselves, because what they unearthed is a collection of songs that truly capture the essence, and sounds, of passing gas. Prepare for a journey into the depths of musical flatulence, featuring everything from punk rock to… well, Bob Seger.
A Deep Dive into the Top Fart Songs: Prepare to Laugh (and Maybe Cringe)
Here’s a curated list of songs that either explicitly celebrate farts, or, in the ears of discerning listeners, perfectly mimic the sounds of intestinal distress:
“Who Farted” by Vincebus Eruptum
Kicking things off with a band name that sounds vaguely like a digestive issue, Vincebus Eruptum delivers exactly what the title promises. While details about the band and song are scarce, the very existence of a track titled “Who Farted” solidifies its place in the fart song pantheon. It’s a bold statement and a direct question – what more could you want from a fart anthem?
American Horror Story Theme Song by James S. Levine
As mentioned earlier, the unsettling and industrial theme song for American Horror Story, composed by James S. Levine, bears an uncanny resemblance to a symphony of farts. The discordant, low-frequency sounds and rhythmic pulses create an auditory landscape that is both terrifying and, let’s be honest, a little bit gassy. Once you hear it, you can’t unhear it – the American Horror Story theme is forever tainted (or enhanced?) by the fart association.
“Farts Are Liberty” by Gene Belcher
From the animated musical genius of Gene Belcher from Bob’s Burgers, “Farts Are Liberty” is an explicit and proud declaration of fart freedom. This song, performed by a cartoon character, embraces the bodily function with open arms and a punk rock attitude. It’s catchy, irreverent, and undeniably pro-fart. Gene Belcher understands the fundamental truth: farts are liberty.
“Dumb Head” by The Sharades
While not explicitly about farts, “Dumb Head” by The Sharades makes the list for its, shall we say, farty sound. Listeners have pointed out that the song’s prominent bassline and certain instrumental flourishes create a sonic texture that evokes the lower register of flatulence. Whether intentional or accidental, The Sharades have inadvertently crafted a song that resonates with the fart song community.
“I Can’t Stop Farting” by The Queers
Punk rock legends The Queers are known for their juvenile humor and catchy tunes, so it’s no surprise they have a song titled “I Can’t Stop Farting.” This track is a straightforward, no-nonsense anthem about uncontrollable flatulence. With its fast tempo and singalong chorus, “I Can’t Stop Farting” is the perfect soundtrack for anyone experiencing, well, you know.
“Old Time Rock ‘n’ Roll” by Bob Seger
This entry is admittedly more tongue-in-cheek. Our “expert” friend Jeff jokingly suggested Bob Seger’s classic “Old Time Rock ‘n’ Roll” as a fart song, claiming it sounds like “one long fart noise.” While perhaps a stretch, there’s a certain low-end rumble in the song’s instrumentation that, if you squint your ears and have a particular sense of humor, can be interpreted as vaguely farty. It’s certainly the most unexpected and arguably funniest inclusion on the list.
The Verdict: What IS the Best Fart Song?
So, after this gaseous journey through the musical landscape, we pose the ultimate question: Which song truly deserves the title of “Best Fart Song?” Did we miss any crucial contributions to this… unique genre? Let us know in the comments! Perhaps a comprehensive “Fart Song Playlist” is in our pungent future.
Pfffft.
